Veiled or unveiled?

I've been casual browsing veils to see 1) whether I wanted one at all 2) what I thought would look good with the sweet dress.

Suffice it to say that with all the traditional veils, nothing caught my eye. Then I stumbled on this one today by Erica Koesler. I thought it was pretty nifty.

It's sort of a combo between the birdcage blusher and a traditional veil, and though I could do without star sparklies, I think it's a good starting point. What do you think?

The "need" for personal eye candy (or wedding porn if you prefer)

As you can see from my last post, I've been struggling with the "stuff" of the wedding and the meaning of the wedding. I mention in that post that Chris and I had decided not to do engagement pictures. We thought it was an unnecessary expense, and for us, self-indulgent.

But this decision has continued to gnaw in the background somewhere. Maybe there is something about capturing the joy of the engagement process that is important. Or maybe it is the cool idea for a photo shoot that keeps this in my mind.

I justify the consideration a couple of ways... Comfort with your photographer is very important, especially for goofy and camera-shy folks like Chris and I. We love our photographer's work. Frankly, I think she's one of the best out there... not just in Tahoe, but anywhere. I want to share her work with you because it is so great.


Annie X photographie

and her blog

Who wouldn't want the opportunity to have some extra photos from Annie? Her work is AMAZING!

Also, isn't it somewhat important to capture this time? We don't need photos to make memories, but they certainly do help sharpen the details in our minds. Looking at them evokes emotion, fills in the color, and provides an anchor for the time.

Finally, my mom has been bugging me for years to give her a photo for her desk. This would be a way to do that without having the photo be of me in a wedding dress!

Of course, we've also considered that we could probably get a friend to do photos for the cost of a burrito and some beer... and that we don't really "need" more photos, since we're getting some from our wedding day. Still, it's not really the same as working with our photographer. For a couple of folks that are committed to keeping costs down and the wedding industrial complex at bay, it feels a little like a compromise.

So I ask those of you who are engaged or married, did you do engagement photos? Are you glad you did or did it end up being unnecessary? Did it help to practice with your photographer? For those of you that know me well, do you think I'm losing sight of our goal by doing something like this? Should we just forget it? Or should we go for it?

Next things next

Now that I have a dress, I have to admit that I'm kind of at a loss for what to do next. I feel like most of the macro issues that you are supposed to do for weddings are taken care of now.

Venue-check (even if they are trying to sell it... yikes!)
Catering-check (thanks, babe!)
Color scheme-check
Photographer-check
Officiant-check
Best folks/dog-check
Obligatory paper lanterns-check (and from a long lost friend that I found through a wedding blog!)
Invitations-holding pattern, but decided

I feel like a little hamster running frantically on that wheel thingy, thinking of all these little details like jewelry, wedding yoga, horse and carriage, music playlist, ceremony, favors, best people gifts... The list seems like it has the potential to be endless...

hackedgadgets.com/.../_human_hamster_wheel_2.jpg


I'm actually starting to create extra work for myself because I keep dreaming up new things. My latest is an idea for an engagement shoot (really cool idea, I might add!), but that would mean having to get engagement pictures, which weren't in our budget and are not something we were planning on doing. Now that I'm considering them, I have to wonder is it self-indulgent busy work or something I should really be doing?

So what's a girl supposed to do next? And where, oh where, do I draw the line? This stuff is really fun, and a bit addictive I might say... but I don't want our wedding to be about "stuff" and really cool looking images. This is about a great new life together, the start of a new family and the growth of love-- these are the most important things to me. Isn't doing more "stuff" a step toward losing sight of that?

Fit Bride, Part II: It's all about the yoga!

I planned to hold myself accountable for fitness progress and pitfalls weekly. Because of the holiday, I didn't quite make it... but I'm checking in now.

So far, I've been sticking to the plan pretty well. I've been doing yoga about 3 times a week and doing cardio, well, not enough, but some!

I swear yoga is the best exercise for me. It changes my metabolism so that I burn more calories all the time, and my flexibility and mental health are improving too. The last time I did a big healthy push was in my second year of residency. I tried everything with very little success. I was working out and eating smaller portions, but I just seemed to bulk up muscle-wise. I added yoga, and dropped down to my pre-residency weight. So, I knew yoga worked for me, but it seemed too expensive for me to do sustainably-- until I joined a gym that had classes. Yay!

Here is a snippet from a review article (science geek alert) that I read,
"There is a need to have yoga better recognized by the health care community as a complement to conventional medical care. Over the last 10 years, a growing number of research studies have shown that the practice of Hatha Yoga can improve strength and flexibility, and may help control such physiological variables as blood pressure, respiration and heart rate, and metabolic rate to improve overall exercise capacity."

J Altern Complement Med. 2002 Dec;8(6):797-812.

Psychophysiologic effects of Hatha Yoga on musculoskeletal and cardiopulmonary function: a literature review.

Raub JA.

In addition to the yoga, I've cut out simple carbs. It was hard to do initially, but you start to get used to it after a while. Whole grains can actually taste good, and I've learned to love Wheat Germ! I've increased my fiber from next to nothing to nearly 30 grams a day... no easy feat...

I've also cut down my processed sugar intake. This is so hard for me to do... Sometimes I just crave something sweet. I can't help it. So, I haven't been perfect on this, but I'm not binging on Kit Kats either ;) and hopefully I'll get there with baby steps.

I'm also using www.fitday.com where I can track every single thing I put in my mouth (if I wanted to) and all of my activity. It's a bit obsessive, and it sends me into a slightly anorexic freakout mode, so I use it sparingly...

The net effect is that I've dropped 4 lbs, in 2 weeks, healthily. I know it's better to only drop a half pound a week, but I'm just going with what happens and not depriving myself, so I feel ok with it. That's great, right? Well, in just the course of me changing my dietary habits and going to yoga, Mr. Chris managed to drop 10 lbs!!!

First of all, I'm jealous (and a little frustrated), but secondly, he doesn't need to lose any weight-- at all. So now I have to figure out a way to shrink myself while keeping the boy adequately fed. Sigh.

I've fallen for someone...

And that someone is a dress.

I've spent a huge amount of time and energy trying on, thinking about, talking about, and soliciting opinions on dresses.

This weekend, we made a trip to Portland to finally try on some of the dresses that have been part of my most recent dress fantasies. Chris's cousin Annie came to the bridal salon to be opinion-giver and photographer. Thanks Annie!

All the decision making and agonizing went out the window when I tried on *the* dress. There was no thought process, just love. No frantic phone calls for sibling approval or friend advice, just action. No pro and con list, just self-assurance. There was also the scary down payment, but the wallet damage wasn't too bad.

It just *was*... and it was perfect.

I'm almost nervous to show her off, because I'm in such love... so lest anyone be too critical, I know there are some challenges associated with my "sweet" dress. But I'm gonna learn how to rock her in all her beauty confidently. There will be train-- for part of the day, but for part of the day she'll probably be train-less.

Please bear with the pictures, we did the best we could in the circumstances... So, without further ado, I present Sophia Tolli's Dolce in Gold/Ivory... (except for Chris who should read no further)

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The crazy train!:
Train off:
Anyway, I wanted to make sure and thank Jen, Kate, Janna, Sandie, Liz, my mom, and all the endless parade of friends and acquaintances who lovingly critiqued and provided advice on dresses. You all are the best!

Oh, she's super comfy too!

The hair affair

I was trying to think of how my hair should look for the wedding... or in general really, since my hairstylist needs a "vision" to work with, as he says.

So I found some lovely pictures that capture a vintage look, but will still appear modern. Finger waves are great, but they might look out of place. I found a few looks that I like. Hopefully, my rockstar stylist can work with them to get me ready. Chris's close friend will be doing my hair the day of the wedding.

Here are Grace Kelly, Lauren Bacall and Katherine Heigel... Not that I can hope to look like any of them, but maybe my hair can!

The bait and switch

www.flickr.com/photos/13525219@N00/360104197

I think most people know by now, but my amazing weekend of trying on dream dresses turned into a jilted at the alter scenario. I'm trying to be understanding about what happened, but it's still baffling.

Last week, as you can see from the post entitled "A happy accident", I found a salon that is about half an hour away that carries Sophia Tolli dresses. I called the store and ran through a list of several style numbers that I wished to try on. From the other end of the phone I could hear the tappity tap of computer keys and then the cheerful voice of the salesperson saying, "Yes, we have all 3 of those dresses!"

Now to be fair, maybe in my excitement I misheard the salesperson, but she went on and on about how beautiful one of the dresses was, so I could only surmise that she'd seen it and it was in the store... But I was oh so wrong.

To get my friends together (many of whom are very busy) is no small feat, but we were able to arrange to have 2 of my girls come with me. When we got to the salon, the same cheerful woman from the phone call met us and told me to pick out 6 or 8 dresses. I told her that mostly I wanted to try on the 3 dresses we had come to see, and could she pull those out? She said, "sure, sure" and then disappeared. She came back empty handed. I was still clueless and trusting.

And then, she tried to steer me toward high-end dresses. It was only then that she admitted that she didn't have *any* of the dresses that I called about. Now reality started settling in for me. What an awkward situation. I was bummed, the saleswoman was clearly uncomfortable, and my amazing friends were trying to salvage the situation.

I did try on some dresses, a few of which were quite lovely... but my heart just wasn't in it, and we quickly realized it was time to cut our losses. Before we got ready to leave, one of my friends said to the salesperson, "You should have told her you didn't have the dresses..." in her best mom-like disappointed voice. She was my hero in that moment.

I surely hope that this isn't the store's usual customer service policy, but just an isolated incident involving one salesperson... As such, I'm not posting the name of the store, though if you are curious I'll share it privately. Still, it was sort of embarassing to haul my friends down there into a rather uncomfortable situation, though they were so sweet and tried to console me with lunch afterward.

On the bright side, the experience motivated me to find dealers who had these dresses in Western Washington (no easy task). It also showed me that continuing to look is probably a good idea, as I feel very strongly about these dresses (which are as elusive as unicorns). One is in Tacoma, and two more are in Portland, so we'll visit Chris's cousin and to try on the other two! (PS no sales tax in Oregon!) So maybe, this will all come up roses after all :)